How could you handle your anger after divorce?

The most common problem faced by people post divorce is a frequent outburst of anger. Once you are divorced, it doesn’t mean everything is over. All your past memories would haunt you again when you meet your ex-spouse or when there are issues related to divorce custody of children. This would surely trigger your emotions and make you angry and depressed.

Counseling would help you to identify the problems and causes for your angry outbursts. Counseling can be done for the family as well. The counselors adopt different methods and techniques that would surely come to your aid.

Things to be adopted for handling anger after divorce

• Understand and rethink about your feelings and anger
• Try to calm down using techniques like meditation or counseling
• Relieve your tensions and try to relax by spending some time with friends and family members
• Don’t reveal your anxiety and anger on the children
• Give a patient hearing to all the divorce advice given by your family members and friends. Their advice and opinion may also arouse anger
• Consider their advice as support or encouragement to go ahead in life
• Try to gain insights that would help you build up new relations. It helps them to combat the stress created by the failed relationship
• Try not to be obsessed with the idea that the failed relationship was only your fault. This would release your anger and also increase your self esteem
• Engage yourself in responsibilities, that would help you to forget these disturbing emotions
• Absence of proper knowledge of divorce rights may end in judgments against you. This may also increase anxiety and anger. Taking suitable advice from the attorneys is a suitable option for such cases
• Children are the most affected amongst the family members after the divorce. This may tend to bring about emotional disturbances and frequent bouts of anger. Help them to cope up with this situation with care, and affection by arranging a counseling session for them
It is very essential to release your tensions and anger post divorce. This is the first coping strategy to be adopted after divorce.

The Way to Handle Relationships Post Divorce

There are many things that are to be considered to handle relationships post divorce. They include handling issues related to alimony, legal issues, and divorce custody for children. After divorce, it is quite natural that you will be not interested in your ex-spouse or rather disturbed both physically and mentally. Consequently, you would not be in state of mind to go for new relationships.

While beginning a new relationship, there may be many doubts in the mind whether the same mistakes will be repeated. The divorced people fear that they may have to go through the same problems once again. All these may act as an obstacle in building new relationships after divorce.

You have to live alone and independently manage your own things. This may lead to alter your relationships with others. Some people easily recover from the trauma of failed relationships, whereas some take a lot of time. The best way to handle this crisis situation is stay close to your family members and friends. They would give you suitable advice, and support that would help you to come out of this stressful situation. It would strengthen your beliefs, and encourage you to begin and maintain new relations.

The most crucial aspect is maintaining a relationship with your ex-spouse and children post divorce. Every time you communicate with them, it would remind you about the whole incident once again. The family members of your ex-wife may or may not want to maintain relationships with you. So, don’t enforce yourself on them. This relationship can be maintained well by divorce mediation.

Tips that can be used to handle relationships post divorce:

• Accept that the relationship has failed
• Don’t underestimate yourself as the relationship has failed
• Maintain a friendly relation with your ex-spouse and other family members
• Post divorce your relationship is going to change with everyone. Work on building and maintaining these and new relationships
• Develop a clear role description between being a parent and a step parent. There are chances of role conflict. Provide much attention while communicating as you did earlier
• You can also opt for advice from a relationship counselor regarding maintaining relationship

Secrets to a Happy Relationship

It is very normal to look at the world around you through rose-colored glasses in the initial stages of a relationship. But make sure they don’t turn into blinders that keep you from noticing the things that are going wrong and that your relationship is not as healthy as it should be.
Here are some things you should carry when in a relationship:
Don’t expect your partner to be responsible for your happiness. Many times a relationship does not succeed because someone is unhappy and blames it on the partner. You control your own life and you have to accept the good and bad equally. There has to be an equal give and take in the relationship. Don’t expect your partner to give constantly to your relationship if you aren’t.
Respect your differences with your partner. They might have a different view point about something and you shouldn’t force them to agree with yours opinion Make a decision which satisfies both of you.
Establish a common ground to understand your differences and create a mutual agreement. This can be only done by communication. You have to choose; whether your opinion has to be always accepted as right or you want to have a healthy relationship. You can’t have both. A healthy relationship means sharing and learning from each other’s experiences. If you are not able to reach a mutual agreement, it does not mean that either of you is wrong.
Trust is base of every relationship. If you can’t trust each other, the relationship is going to end in divorce. You must realize that divorce procedures are not at all easy to go through. Hence, learn to trust each other instead of learning the divorce laws.
Each of us have different experiences, from where we learn important lessons. Make your relationship a learning experience. A healthy relationship can only be maintained when both partners contribute equally.
Be truthful to yourself as well as your partner. Do not lie to protect their feelings. If these lies are caught it creates a barrier between you and your partner and ultimately affects your relationship. For any sort of relationship to work, there needs to be an element of trust.
Forgiveness is very important in a relationship. Learn to forgive and let go off the past and focus on the present. Talk about the issue and resolve the differences. You have to come to a mutual agreement. Don’t get stuck with the past it might create more complications in the future.

The Effect of Divorce on Children

Today divorce has become a way of life. Couples opt for divorce on small issues, completely unaware of its repercussions on their children. It was found that more than 15 million children in US experienced the trauma of divorce of their parents.

Children experiencing divorce of their parents undergo a lot of stress. There can be tremendous psychological effects ranging from depression to extreme anger. It is hard to imagine a more difficult phase in a child’s life.

Many psychologists and sociologists have studied and researched on children and divorce. The effect of divorce on the children depends on the age of the child at the time of divorce. It also depends on the gender and personality of the child.

Some of the common effects of divorce on the children are:

• Infants may lose their appetite or suffer from bad stomach due to the conflicts between their parents.
• Preschooler may become disobedient and violent because they frequently believe that they are the reason behind the divorce
• School going children are grown up enough to understand their pain because of the divorce of their parents. However, they are unable to manage their reactions and suffer from grief, humiliation, bitterness, anger etc.
• Teenagers are more severely affected by the separation of their parents. They suffer from extreme anger, fear, loneliness, depression, guilt etc. They loose their innocence if pushed to take responsibility of many new things. Teens are grown enough to understand the cause of the separation. The whole incident can have negative impact on the teen’s life and they may even doubt their own ability to stay in marriage.

Whatever differences the parents are having should not affect the child’s life. If at all parents decide to separate they should help the children to adjust with the situation. You should share the truth and try to win the trust of the child which will help you in strengthening your relationship.

Divorce - A Brief Overview

Divorce is a legal termination or you can say legal end of a marriage. Divorce takes place when a married couple decides that they can’t live together anymore and marriage doesn’t serve any purpose anymore.

It may sound easy that a married couple opt for divorce when they find that they can’t live together anymore but in reality it is not that easy. Divorce is an awful experience. Couple has to go through a lot of emotional and mental turmoil. The whole family gets disturbed. Children are severely affected by the divorce.

Divorce also involves a lot of legal procedures. Filling divorce forms, making divorce papers and court hearing etc can be tiring procedures. There are numerous issues associated with divorce which have to be settled like property settlement, financial settlement and child custody etc.

If a couple has already decided to go for a divorce and want to know what are the legal procedures? Your states divorce law will decide the legal procedures you have to go through.

A few states in US do not have laws that allow a couple to separate legally until a court decides otherwise. In such case with the help of your attorney file a petition with the court requesting a hearing on your marriage. In these hearings you can demand for a temporary separation agreement. If your state law allows separating legally then your attorney will petition the courts for a separation agreement.

Many a times couples are unable to settle their differences over property, money child and divorce custody etc peacefully. They fight over these issues and they are even ready for long court battle.

Surely divorce has negative effects on the couple, their children and their families. Therefore, divorce should be kept as a last option.